Student Blog
Diversity

Defeating the Feelings of Inadequacy and Non-belonging ⟩
July 2, 2020, by Lamoni

Diversity Life Hacks

Yesterday, I presented at the student organization fair to give students some information about COTAD. When we, the presenters, were introduced, Dr. Rafeedie referred to us as “second year students.” I am still shocked every time that I hear that phrase. It has already been a full year of graduate school. Am I really half-way done? This question made me think about how I got to this point and all of the feelings of inadequacy that I had to tackle along the way.

The doubts started when I first began my pursuit of higher education. Before my first day of college, I was eager to attend a highly ranked school. I wanted to be challenged. But when I arrived, I was challenged in more ways than one. No one there looked like me. The number of Black students was roughly 5%. And of those Black students, even less were African American. And of those African Americans, few came from low socioeconomic backgrounds. Naturally, I felt out of place due to my race, ethnicity, and income. Along with sharing a class with people from some of the best private high schools in America, I recall questioning my belonging at least several times a week. I do not remember telling anyone about these feelings. My best friend in college was Black but she was not African American and her education was completely paid for by her family. My college was private and very expensive by the way. So, I did not think she would understand. I thought about calling my best friend from high school but she decided not to attend college and was starting a family. She would not understand either. Instead, I pushed those thoughts deep down inside and trucked along. When I graduated, it was the biggest accomplishment of my life. I was so proud! My family was proud! My community was proud!

After college, I knew that I wanted to become an occupational therapist. That, of course, meant going to graduate school. Like I did for college, I traveled across the nation to attend graduate school. I had no family or friends with me. I was starting anew. However, I had already done this once. It would be easier this time. Not so much. Very quickly, the feelings of inadequacy came back. As I walked down the hallways of Chan, I saw portraits of influential women in occupational therapy. Not one portrait was of a Black woman. When we entered the large G37 lecture room, I continued my search for other people that looked like me. I found two. As a class of 144 people, this meant that Black students made up 2%. Truthfully, it was not surprising. Though half of African Americans attend college, according to the National Black Occupational Therapy Caucus, only half of that percentage graduates. According to AOTA’s workforce data from 2014, the percentage of Black occupational therapists is only 4%. With these statistics, it began to feel like this was not the right place for me. But there was a turning point.

During our first summer of the program, we had the honor of receiving a lecture from Dr. Lela Llorens. At our lecture, she spoke about her challenges as a Black occupational therapist and her own feelings of non-belonging. Without knowing, she validated my emotions. Despite her feelings of estrangement, Dr. Llorens greatly influenced our profession’s body of knowledge. In 1969, she received the Eleanor Clarke Slagle Lectureship award — one of the greatest recognitions an occupational therapist can obtain. Additionally, in celebration of occupational therapy’s 100 year history, Dr. Llorens was recognized in AOTA’s list of 100 influential People. Hearing about her achievements dismantled all of my negative thoughts. I have come this far, and I will keep going. Maybe this place was not originally designed for me but there is space for me now. There is space here for others like me, too.

Here are my suggestions for when you feel like you are inadequate or do not belong:

You have jumped over hurdles and navigated barriers time and time again. That is no easy feat! Whether you are just now entering college, finishing college, starting your masters, or completing your OTD, your accomplishments thus far show that you are capable.

When there is already a feeling of non-belonging, it is easy to focus on the negatives. It can send you into a spiral of emphasizing your “failures.” Instead, view everything as a learning tool. If it did not work in the past, what can you do differently? And if it did work, celebrate! Reward yourself! Break the cycle of dismissing validation.

Create a detailed image that affirms your desired outcomes. See the bigger picture. When we have a concrete idea of what we are working toward, we stay motivated. Small rocks in our path may make us stumble but never fall. Do not lose sight of the ultimate goal.

Just like I belong here, so do you.

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How to be an Ally ⟩
June 12, 2020, by Lamoni

Diversity

With the world’s recent affairs, there’s been a lot of discussion about police brutality, the Black Lives Matter movement, misuse of power, the meaning behind certain symbols such as the confederate flag, etc. With these discussions circulating, I have seen a number of well-intentioned acts of solidarity. I have also seen acts that are inappropriate.

In our profession, it is important to build trust with our team and our clients. An important way to build trust is by consistently showing that we are allies, people that care about the same cause and act toward the same goal. It sounds rather simple, but it requires a lot of effort. Right now, your Black friends, classmates, faculty, and staff need to see that effort. And we need it to be vigorous and constant. That being said, I have decided to lay out some points about what it means to be an ally.

What is allyship?

1. Listening more and speaking less
What you’ve learned through books, articles, and observation does not and will not equate to the lived experience. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to spend most of your time listening rather than speaking. There is always room to learn more.

2. Acknowledging your privilege
You cannot call for equality without first acknowledging that there is an imbalance. Recognize that you have certain advantages that others do not. Use that advantage to amplify the voices of those unheard.

3. Accepting criticism
People tend to immediately begin defending themselves when they are criticized. That can lead to a missed opportunity. Criticism is a form of feedback that should be used to reflect and grow. Embrace it.

What allyship is not

Allyship is not rooted in performance. Lately, it seems that calling oneself an ally is very on-trend. However, as stated, allyship is a lifelong process. It requires consistency in reflection, learning, and action. Expecting awards and recognition suggests that you are conveniently presenting as an ally or have an ulterior motive. Next time you create a #BLM post, ask yourself, “am I doing this for an applause?” and, “if people ask about this post, will I be able to say that I’ve put action behind my words?” (e.g. marched in protests, signed petitions, called legislators).

Being an ally is hard work. Confronting your implicit biases, speaking up when a family member says something ignorant, and recognizing the ways that you participate in oppressive systems is difficult. However, it is necessary. If you do not feel uncomfortable or challenged, you are not actively doing your part.

We have a beautiful profession where we get to advocate for others. Let’s all start now.

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First Gen Problems ⟩
June 12, 2020, by Liz

Diversity

Ever since COVID-19 happened I’m sure we’ve all had to make some changes in several aspects of our lives. One major change I made, like so many other students, was switching to remote learning. Whether you’re about to start classes soon this summer here at Chan, or completing some prerequisite courses elsewhere, don’t be afraid . . . IT WILL BE OKAY!

When this whole thing started, I decided to move back home with my parents in Santa Ana. I was afraid the loneliness would get to me if I stayed at my apartment in LA all alone and remote learning seemed like a good opportunity to move back home for a bit. At first, moving back was fine. It was great to spend more time with my family and enjoy my mom’s home cooked meals. BUT, what I didn’t know was that being back home would actually result in me feeling more stressed and overwhelmed than ever.

Like many other first generation students, one of the reasons I chose to pursue a higher education (other than my love for OT, of course) was because I want to take care of my parents at some point. I don’t want my mom cleaning houses or my dad taking care of people’s landscaping forever! So, when I moved back home that stressor that had been stored somewhere in the back of my mind, made itself very visible again. My family lives in a small apartment, so when I would hear my dad get up at 4 AM to get ready to get to work it felt almost impossible to fall asleep again. I was constantly thinking about how much older he’s getting and how much I wished he could just stay in bed and drink his coffee when the sun was actually out. Seeing my mom come home exhausted and complain about her back pain didn’t make things any better. That pressure and stress I was able to almost forget about when I was in LA just didn’t go away, and I could feel how it was taking a toll on me emotionally.

To make matters worse, it was extremely difficult to focus on getting my work done for class. My family was constantly trying to hang out (don’t get me wrong I love them, but COME ON I have some work to do!). I started to feel bad because I felt like family time was what they looked forward to since we were all staying home, and I wanted to cater to their needs. It almost made me feel selfish to tell them I had work to do for school. So, I ended up staying up WAY past my usual bedtime just to get my work done because my family was so distracting.

It finally got to the point where I was too overwhelmed by my stressors of being back home and my school work. So, I decided I had to make some changes. My first step was to talk to my parents and my sister about how I was feeling. I had to explain that my school work was not something I could continue to put off and complete late at night. I don’t know if anyone else’s parents are like this, but my parents seem to think going to school is an easy job. Which honestly, is kind of understandable. Compared to their taxing jobs I’m sure sitting at home on a computer seems easy peasy. But, it’s still unfair to me and my feelings. So, I decided to show them more of what I was doing. I translated what I was learning and why it was important.

Second, I thought about how I could still spend some time with them while also being able to take care of myself and my responsibilities. I ended up taking virtual zumba classes with my mom in order to make her feel like she was still a priority to me. Let me tell you, zumba is not easy and my mom is a lot more coordinated than I am — embarrassing, I know. I would also run small errands with my dad whenever possible. If he had to run to the grocery store and I needed a study break, I would spend my study break with him. Finding these little ways to make time for my family helped so much and gave me more room to get my work done.

As for my emotional stressors, every night before bed I would think about three reasons why I was proud of myself. This helped me see that there’s so much to be happy about and that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. So, if you are a first generation student feeling overwhelmed by all of the things you feel like you have to do, don’t. You are already on the right track. You’re here (or on your way), and you can do this! And also, show and explain to your parents what you’re working towards. I am 100% sure they would be so happy to see it and learn about what you’re doing. Summer is right around the corner and you will be amazing. Check out Savi’s blog post on the benefits of remote learning next! Fight on!

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Black Lives Matter ⟩
June 8, 2020, by Calvin

Diversity

It’s been an extremely unfortunate time right now and I know that so many of us are going through a lot of emotions. Like many of you, I feel disappointed, angry, frustrated, and scared by the current events surrounding the unfair deaths of Black lives. As I’m watching the news on the ensuing nationwide protests for social justice, I’m witnessing the collective trauma being experienced by many, and I am also reflecting on how I can help.

I am proud to be part of the Chan Community, where the USC Chan Division has been committed to addressing these matters by fostering an inclusive educational environment, sharing multiple resources, and holding safe space meetings. It’s reassuring to know that our community is being supported by the division and I’m very much looking forward to attending these meetings.

As an Asian American, I used to believe that this was not my place to speak up and that this was not my fight. I believed that if I felt like I was going to say something wrong, then I shouldn’t say anything at all. In the past, I was silent and scared to have these difficult conversations with my friends and family. I remember times when friends would use derogatory language against certain communities and when my immigrant family members would share their opinions without first attempting to understand. I didn’t say a word to try and correct them. I wasn’t able to resist my complacency.

Throughout my upbringing, I had internalized anti-blackness and my mind was shrouded by the model minority narrative that continues to divide Asian and Black communities. This myth grants exploitative privileges that are weaponized against Black and Latinx communities. I was ignorant to be part of such a detrimental perception that downplays racism in the struggles of other minority groups, especially Black people.

However, as I have grown and reflected on myself and my privilege, I have come to realize that there are many ways to practice allyship in solidarity. By acknowledging the internalized racism embedded within myself and my culture, I have been able to reflect on my actions and challenge my assumptions. I’ve also been trying to promote this dialogue with my family to educate them on the injustices that Black people face. While I am grateful that they are gradually starting to be more open to talking about these topics, I also know that this is just the first step.

Black communities continue to experience barriers to their occupational rights and they continue to have their lives senselessly taken away by authorities who thrive off of this unjust system. It’s very clear that we are still fighting against systemic racism and acts of oppression, and it is so important, and has always been, that we organize and mobilize together in order to educate ourselves and support the Black community.

As future OTs, part of our work is to create a space to listen to the voices of those who are marginalized and oppressed, and to those who don’t have a voice, so that we can help advocate for them. However, we must also challenge people’s assumptions, acknowledge when there is boundary-crossing, and utilize our leadership to foster a supportive and safe environment for our clients and colleagues.

I hope that you can join me in taking this time to reflect and ask ourselves these questions:

• What can I do to continue putting in this effort?
• How can I use anti-racist knowledge to start this dialogue?
• How can I inform myself to continue thinking about these topics?

Here, I share with you all a document that contains links and additional resources to educate yourself, sign petitions, donate, and so many other ways for you to take action. I hope that everyone is staying safe and healthy and that you’re able to take care of yourselves as needed.

Thank you.

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Why OT? ⟩
June 1, 2020, by Liz

Diversity What are OS/OT?

As I reflect about my time thus far at USC Chan, I come to appreciate the diversity in the program and everyone’s unique story in finding occupational therapy. It’s always great to know that no matter the “why,” we all hold a special love for OT. Some learned about OT through their family members, others have had loved ones receive OT services, and some have personal stories about their journey as the recipient. As for me, the story is a little different!

As the proud daughter of a landscaping gardener and housekeeper, growing up I wasn’t introduced to professions outside of what my family knew. However, when I was about 12 years old, my grandmother obtained a traumatic hand injury while in the passenger’s seat of a terrible car accident. She was an undocumented, uninsured individual in our country and could not afford the care she needed. Due to these barriers, my family could only afford to pay for her pain medication. Over time her injury healed, but her wrist permanently remained curving in towards her thumb — radial deviation. The accident negatively impacted my grandmother’s ability to engage in activities she found meaningful. She found it challenging to dress herself independently, make tamales, and walk her dog. This took a toll on my grandma’s self-esteem and created a deep feeling of frustration. I took it upon myself to help my grandma by doing some of those things for her, but what I discovered was that she wanted to do them herself. So, I tried helping my grandma find ways to participate in those activities as best as she could. Sure, it wasn’t the work a 12-year-old should be doing, but it was so fun! I loved seeing my grandma smile every time she was able to put on her favorite red lipstick by herself. Of course, we still had a bit of cleaning up to do around the edges, but it was amazing!

Years later, I ended up at CSUF with the hopes of pursuing a career as a Spanish teacher. I was taking a kinesiology course to fulfill one of my GE requirements and one day a few seniors came in to present on their internship experience. One of those presentations spoke about occupational therapy! Of course, I went home and did my research and was immediately converted when I knew I could work with individuals recovering from hand injuries. However, as time went on, I discovered that my passion went beyond wanting to help people recover from such injuries. My interest flourished into a love for wanting to provide culturally sensitive care for those from lower-socioeconomic statuses, a barrier faced by my grandmother and many others from similar communities. I am grateful that OT provides me with the opportunity to do so. The best part is that I get to work towards my goal with the support of my amazing academic mentors and supportive peers. I look forward to continue representing the Latinx community and am excited to continue growing as a future OT!

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